We clearly need this. Box art posted here should not be just plain bad, but spectacularly bad.
Here we go:
Who doesn't want to be a gun-wielding angel, causing destruction all around? An angel so badass, he doesn't even have to look where he's tossing his bombs, he just knows it'll hit the right target - which clearly is everybody else. What makes you wonder though, is why he seems to be the sole aggressor? The other angel depicted on the upper right corner couldn't look more peaceful and the person down below is just trembling with fear. Is that grim-looking figure in the middle even supposed to be the hero of this story? On second thought, since this is about crusading it actually makes perfect sense.
But what does this have to do with the game, which looks like this:
Not only are you not badass at all, since you're the one doing all the dying, but you're also a space-moth. Don't believe me? Let's have a look at the NES version (aka "Papillon Gals"):
Last Edit: Mar 2, 2021 10:22:07 GMT -5 by windfisch
Combining an inebriated visage with apparel so unsightly that it's enough to swear off the male gender altogether this cover is just completely unflattering and unappealing.
The gameplay apparently has this unfortunate soul at the mercy of a gigantic nude man throwing a barrage of enormous soft drinks his way. Perhaps in punishment for unleashing such a monstrosity of a box art on the world.
Last Edit: Mar 2, 2021 11:16:47 GMT -5 by excelsior
My best explanation would be that the poor guy got mugged on his way to the soda-factory. They only took the valuable stuff, namely his blue spandex and the skateboard.
This is a serious contender for the top spot.
You have quite the imagination, but you do make me laugh windfisch. I have more to post but my laptop's on it's last legs and uploading images is a time sink right now. Anxiously awaiting an email to say my new one is ready for collection...
Here's one that's the stuff of nightmares. Unfortunately I can't find any gameplay and I'm kind of hoping it's a fake. All I can think is the guys riding around in somebody's head was the clear inspiration for Bowser's Clown Car.
spanky It's true, this might be an unfair competition, since us Europeans are the best at everything - especially at being terrible. But the sole existence of Mega Man 1 US still gives me hope for North America.
Well, it's no Headstart (thank god!), but it still is amazingly stupid, so stupid that you just have to love it! Just look look at the guitarist's face: It's either him being really into his own solo (not realizing he standing in the middle of a race track) or it's the expression of somebody who feels very, very warm down there. "Hot music" indeed.
Last Edit: Mar 4, 2021 15:55:47 GMT -5 by windfisch
I'm gonna have to defend Banjo-Phalanx: I think it's actually kinda brilliant! (edit: I'm also an idiot for not realizing that this may very well be the best worst box art in terms of actual skill...) Graphically it's rather competently made and even if this interview wouldn't exist, you could still tell that this was a very deliberate decision. I for one respect that, at least in this case (there are others that I do find offensively ugly). And since polarization is inevitable with this kind of approach, I can see why people take issue with it.
That said, the Japanese original is pretty good, albeit a bit, well, phallic...:
Last Edit: Mar 6, 2021 22:07:05 GMT -5 by windfisch