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Post by 🧀Son of Suzy Creamcheese🧀 on Mar 24, 2021 8:30:30 GMT -5
In looking for bad box arts I became a little mystified in the world of darts games, and their need to create the image of excitement or even sexiness with their cover arts. Ordinarily these wouldn't be too bad, some of them being comparable to other sports games, but the reaction shots are a bit much for me. The woman showing cleavage has to be the furthest image from what comes into my mind when I think of darts, but I think my favourite is the fire in the back of the DS game. Personally I'm bewildered at the lack of a pint in anyone's spare hand. Honestly, these are pretty accurate portrayals of darts. On TV they also tend to go overboard with the hyping up of matches and there's always cheerleaders before each match. It's all pretty bombastic. Not that the uniquely cheesy atmosphere of TV darts really was translated entirely well to these covers.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2021 9:23:55 GMT -5
There is no "semi" in my thoughts. Pretends to blush.... Let's not frighten off the few posters we have though.
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Post by windfisch on Mar 24, 2021 17:11:43 GMT -5
You're probably right, excelsior . It's always better to keep things clean and classy when discussing tasteless art. (Looking at 🧀Son of Suzy Creamcheese🧀 's avatar signature has really opened my eyes to the fact that some people here might not appreciate sex- and/or penis-jokes as much as we do... Huh? "What's this !?" ) In all seriousness: Contrary to what it may look like, this is not a private flirting chat between myself and excelsior, everybody! Noone should feel excluded or discouraged to post weird/ugly artwork!
And to be really, really serious: I do hope this thread gives others at least some of the joy it's giving me.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 24, 2021 17:43:57 GMT -5
In all seriousness: Contrary to what it may look like, this is not a private flirting chat between myself and excelsior, everybody!
It's not?!?! Darn, I misread all the signals and now I feel rejected. To add to the thread, this art gave me a good laugh.
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Post by windfisch on Mar 24, 2021 19:11:00 GMT -5
In all seriousness: Contrary to what it may look like, this is not a private flirting chat between myself and excelsior, everybody!
It's not?!?! Darn, I misread all the signals and now I feel rejected. Okay, I lied: It pretty much is. (But not completely.)
Anyway, did you say:
INTENSE
ARCADE
ACTION
with
Real Sound DIGITIZED SOUND
NO HARDWARE
REQUIRED
and
256 COLOR
VGA
on a
3,5" DISK
by
ACCESS SOFTWARE INCORPORATED ?!
I so need this right now, especially those glasses!
(If this turns out to be one of those ironic fake-80s-movie-fake-game-adaptations that are so popular with the kids these days, I'm gonna be really sad and really angry at you... for the next 5 minutes.)
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Post by spanky on Mar 24, 2021 19:18:44 GMT -5
I think Crime Wave is a really shitty NARC rip off of all things.
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Post by windfisch on Mar 24, 2021 19:22:53 GMT -5
But... they say it's INTENSE. And they have never lied to me before. Why should I trust you on this?
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Post by spanky on Mar 24, 2021 19:29:42 GMT -5
But... they say it's INTENSE. And they have never lied to me before. Why should I trust you on this?
You know what, I think you're right. Just look at this blood pumping ACTION!
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Post by windfisch on Mar 24, 2021 19:34:34 GMT -5
See, I knew this was gonna be special, mindblowing even!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 25, 2021 3:21:05 GMT -5
Well it certainly is the campest thing I ever saw. Including my own avatar. If you want intensity though I think this guy is pretty intense. Since we clearly need to know more of the premise, here's an insert from the game: So it turns out the heretofore unknown member of Wham is our hero, Lucas McCabe, who uses his special talents to deal with slimy crime and drug lords in his own fashion. Speaking of fashion, this fashionista is one of the villains from the cover, sporting his pyjamas/baseball cap look. I think it's going to catch on. I notice the girl we're expected to rescue is not the same one from the cover art. You know, the starlet so desirable they had to coax us in to save her with a pile of money and oversized weaponry. I did manage to find her in another appearance in what appears to be a prequel from happier times. Julie Finds a Way eh...I'm quite sure. I'll leave you with an image of the back cover: I assume, with that, you've had a GUTFULL!
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Post by windfisch on Mar 25, 2021 15:17:00 GMT -5
Fantastic find, excelsior : Crime Wave is a gift that keeps giving!
Not only is the box art amazing, it also has got the proper game to back it up:
The title screen alone makes me fall in love with it all over again.
ed.: That music, so good!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2021 15:40:52 GMT -5
Romantic comedy....Sure....
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Post by lurker on Mar 27, 2021 16:01:57 GMT -5
Romantic comedy....Sure.... Comic Sans, the true mark of quality.
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Post by windfisch on Mar 27, 2021 16:43:30 GMT -5
Comic Sans, the true mark of quality. That and royalty-free clip art. Spared no expense!
Also, am I the only one thinking that title is a jab at Mario? Along the lines of: "Forget that kiddie crap, this is a multi-media game for grown-ups!" At least the review-quotes show some self-awareness.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2021 16:55:33 GMT -5
Comic Sans, the true mark of quality. That and royalty-free clip art. Spared no expense!
Also, am I the only one thinking that title is a jab at Mario? Along the lines of: "Forget that kiddie crap, this is a multi-media game for grown-ups!" At least the review-quotes show some self-awareness.
Check a let's play online if you want to see just how cheaply made it is. The title splash screen in particular has that feel of someone's first web page from the 90's.
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