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Post by Discoalucard on May 31, 2009 21:28:33 GMT -5
Let's try out the new server, shall we? hg101.kontek.net/timekillers/timekillers.htmThis includes a look at Time Killers and its pseudo-sequel Bloodstorm, which are both just awful. What I DIDN'T know was that Capcom somehow got these guys to do Street Fighter: The Movie: The Arcade Game. Which explains why it was so completely horrible. Also includes a look at Ninja Clowns.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2009 21:49:18 GMT -5
It's nice to learn more about the series, but the author could stand to work with an editor of some sort. The intro was long-winded and entirely beside the point. I can see that he was trying to establish a frame of mind before delving into the article itself, but the whole thing would read a lot easier without it.
-edit-
Good god, it goes on like that!
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Post by zzz on May 31, 2009 22:01:26 GMT -5
Who fucking wrote this shit!? This man is insane!
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Post by Discoalucard on May 31, 2009 22:08:04 GMT -5
It is pretty long winded, but it also pretty accurately describes any encounter I had with Time Killers, as well as setting up context for the time it was released.
Plus, the games themselves are pretty insane, so they deserve an equally themed write-up.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2009 22:09:12 GMT -5
In honor of the article itself, I'm about to write a sentence that has never been written in human history:
I'm officially in awe of Tim Rogers's journalistic abilities. I apologize to the author of this article, because no one deserves to be insulted like that.
Seriously, though. It's your site and all, Kurt, but did you give this thing a read before putting it up?
Also, I know my comments have probably insulted the author. I think this is just a case of you trying too hard. You obviously know the subject material. It doesn't have to be dry and stoic, but there's something to be said about restraint...
- edit -
And that answers that. Fair enough!
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Post by Discoalucard on May 31, 2009 22:22:23 GMT -5
I'm not sure how well that Rihanna reference will age, but there's so many crazy lines that I can't help but smile at a good chunk of them.
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Post by roushimsx on May 31, 2009 22:25:03 GMT -5
I very much dislike the writing style used in this article, to include the longwinded, rambling introduction. It progressively gets better, but it never actually gets "good".
In a way, I think it suits the subject matter.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2009 22:36:39 GMT -5
In honor of the article itself, I'm about to write a sentence that has never been written in human history: I'm officially in awe of Tim Rogers's journalistic abilities. I apologize to the author of this article, because no one deserves to be insulted like that. Seriously, though. It's your site and all, Kurt, but did you give this thing a read before putting it up? Also, I know my comments have probably insulted the author. I think this is just a case of you trying too hard. You obviously know the subject material. It doesn't have to be dry and stoic, but there's something to be said about restraint... - edit - And that answers that. Fair enough! Heh, beat me to it. I was wondering how Tim Rogers was able to find some time away from his busy schedule as a "Rock Star Video Game Journalist", styling his emo-hair, and battling anorexia to write an article on Time Killers. Then I noticed that some of the comments were actually about the games, so that ruled that possibility out. Seriously, though, article was on crack, but it was very appropriate given the subject matter; nice job! **EDIT: (Oops, he mentioned this...sort of) To clarify one comment in the article, Daniel Pesina (Johnny Cage) got fired by Midway for posing in an ad for "Bloodstorm" dressed as Johnny Cage, which is reportedly why they killed off the character in MK3. I remember the ad being in the first issue of "EGM^2", along with a feature on "Bloodstorm" (which tried to pass it off as the next big thing).
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Post by Garamoth on May 31, 2009 23:15:09 GMT -5
My reaction after reading this: The first thing I though about the article is "hey isn't this a bit too freeform, even for HG101"? I mean, this place isn't going to turn into new game journalism central, is it? Anyway, as I kept reading, the article seemed to be getting better and funnier. And awesomer. I think the tone is 100% appropriate, considering the subject matter. I mean, that Bloodstorm/Bonestorm thing from the Simpsons, that's not a coincidence, is it? These games are just so gloriously mediocre it brings a tear to my eyes. Thank you for showing me this beautiful crap. I love the animated gifs... although I hate their actual content. Look at all those intestines. I guess that's the point: to show just how craptastic these games really are. I think the problem is the intro. I thought it was too long and filled with random references... and not very funny. Maybe it could be reworked, because it gives a pretty bad first impression of the otherwise much cooler article. DETAIL: The "ending" pic for Ninja Clowns shows up twice on the right.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2009 23:17:09 GMT -5
My condolences to whoever tries to revise this beast. It's like cleaning up the jizz stains from the XXX movies at a video store. Someone really needs to do it, but it ain't gonna be me.
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Post by zzz on May 31, 2009 23:17:28 GMT -5
I just noticed that there was a section about Ninja Clowns. Having read that part, I take back my praise of the article.
Seriously, it starts off well - the intro and Time Killers parts are great, and the Bloodstrom section is decent - but the section about Ninja Clowns is retarded. Some of the dumbest, most unfunny shit I have ever read. It's especially out of place given how well the article starts off.
I'd also like to point out that the .gifs are a bit much. Anything with more than just a few frames is a tad excessive for a HG101 article. He also goes WAAAAAAY overboard with the pop culture references. And the crude humor is just plain juvenile. I realize that the games are too, but it's still really stupid.
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Post by Garamoth on May 31, 2009 23:24:23 GMT -5
Well, I guess... what's up with the part about Contra?
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Post by Discoalucard on May 31, 2009 23:51:30 GMT -5
I'm usually reticent about animated GIFs too, but I think you really need to see the game in motion to see how appalling it is.
I'm not so sure about the Ninja Clowns part either - could probably be cut down. The intro, though, while rambling, is still pretty amusing.
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Post by Reiji-kun on Jun 1, 2009 0:04:18 GMT -5
Maybe I'm insane, but I actually like Time Killers and Bloodstorm.
It's true they aren't good games, but they were sort of entertaining in a very goofy way. It's amusing how Strata attempted to rival Midway's success, isn't it? They failed on both counts, but honestly, they could have been a lot worse.
I avoid the Genesis port of Time Killers like a plague, though, as it's what I mean by worse. It makes the arcade version look like gold, if you ask me.
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Post by jorpho on Jun 1, 2009 0:09:15 GMT -5
Hey, wait, new server? The last bastion of the once-venerable Classicgaming.com is departing? This is the passing of an age. The FAQ on GameFAQs includes some amusingly lengthy, rambling backstories on each of the characters. I read through it a few years ago; it was actually kind of entertaining. I first read about Bloodstorm in the Fighter's Misery article on Gameroom Blitz. I mention this because included in the article is a save state for Bloodstorm that supposedly yields the "good ending" from defeating all the hidden characters (a ridiculous chore, if the GameFAQs data is accurate). Actually, the link is dead, but surprisingly it is still available at archive.org. Whether or not it can be made to function with any recent version of MAME is another story. Also, yay Norman Juster.
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