Your god-awful game ideas!

[Jave]

For a while now, I've wanted to see someone do a very deliberate piss-take on the old mascot platformers.

Just invent some raditude filled creature, referred to only as an "obscure type of rodent" who's shilling some fictional product (a very extreme fictional product I might add). He runs around in a 2D world filled with pointless doodads to collect, every stage has at least one minecart ride whether or not it makes any sense in the setting, and the settings themselves jump between volcanoes, ice caves, underwater sections, generic forest and outer space, with no rhyme or reason to any of it.

Low quality speech samples everywhere, every early 90s pop culture trope is played up for comedic effect, and characters make vague references to "the blue guy" who is unconditionally revered.

[Deleted]

Apr 24, 2011 2:57:27 GMT -5 munchy said:

Here's another one my friend Willie thought of: A Final Fight game where, as Haggar, you manage Metro City's finances and public services. Build support from the population for your next running as mayor. Note: does not have any combat, just menu browsing.

What are you talking about? This is the best idea of all time! Final Fight x Sim City = PURE AWESOME! You really would have to put combat into it, though. Quelling riots, tv debates during re-election campaigns, crime waves, angry protestors...this game could have it all.

[TheGunheart]

Apr 24, 2011 11:20:27 GMT -5 Jave said:

Low quality speech samples everywhere, every early 90s pop culture trope is played up for comedic effect, and characters make vague references to "the blue guy" who is unconditionally revered.

Nah, part of the point in those old mascots was them boasting how better they were than Sonic. That tended to be like, 90% of their advertising campaigns.


Anyway, for mine, I could picture a more action oriented version of something like Trickstyle and Airblade. A sort of airboard combat game where you do crazy tricks to attack. And they'd be customizable for different stats that affect the kinds of tricks you can do, as well as the speed and maneuverability of your board.

[susanismyalias]

How about a cross between a 6dof game like Descent, and sayyyyy a brawler? Plus then we could bring back the "this game may make you totally motion sick and you will puke, dogg" warnings.

[TheGunheart]

You know what I'd want to see? A game like Descent that contains Roguelike elements.

[X-pert74]

Apr 24, 2011 11:31:12 GMT -5 @jasonx said:

Apr 24, 2011 2:57:27 GMT -5 munchy said:

Here's another one my friend Willie thought of: A Final Fight game where, as Haggar, you manage Metro City's finances and public services. Build support from the population for your next running as mayor. Note: does not have any combat, just menu browsing.

What are you talking about? This is the best idea of all time! Final Fight x Sim City = PURE AWESOME! You really would have to put combat into it, though. Quelling riots, tv debates during re-election campaigns, crime waves, angry protestors...this game could have it all.

It could be like a modern-day Actraiser.

[wyrdwad]

Wow, I can't believe my Flatland FPS idea actually exists... and that the creators called it "Wolfenstein 1D"! It should be called Wolfenstein 2D, because even though the display is 1-dimensional, the world it represents is 2-dimensional -- much as Wolfenstein 3D has a 2-dimensional display that represents a 3-dimensional world. A true Wolfenstein 1D game would have a resolution of 1x1, and literally just consist of a single dot on the screen (first-person view along a line!), with your only controls being "move forward along the line" and "move backward along the line"... and "shoot the person in front of you," I suppose. In other words, a 0-dimensional display representing a 1-dimensional world.

...Which would ALSO make for a god-awful game. (:

EDIT: Ah, now that I've actually played it, I see that the name is accurate: it is indeed a 1D game, it's just side-view instead of first-person. Which, sadly, means it's not quite the same as the god-awful idea I proposed, and is in fact MUCH MORE PLAYABLE.

-Tom

[Feynman]

Yeah, not quite the same as a true flatland FPS, but it's similar enough that I immediately thought of it when you mentioned your idea.

It really makes me want to find a way to take Wolf 3D and just render one line's worth of pixels now, though.

[Reiji-kun]

There's one other godawful game idea I thought up just now:

Downtown Nekketsu Extreme Ironing!

Thrill as Nekketsu High challenges the other schools to a tournament where ironing is the name of the game! Participate with Kunio, Riki, and their many friends and rivals in such riveting events such as ironing while riding on the roof of a tour bus, ironing on the cliff of Mt. Fuji, ironing on two boards at once, or even ironing while skydiving!

[wyrdwad]

Was that idea inspired by real life?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extreme_ironing

There used to be a really good image gallery with extreme ironing pics that was quite amusing to look at, but it seems to have been taken down now. Pity.

-Tom

[Lee]

Librarian- The Game!

- Check out books
- Quiet down rowdy people
- restock shelves
- take care of up to 100 pet cats in your apartment during off hours

[Jave]

[beach1]

I don't know if they were god-awful, although they probably were since I was so young, but did anyone else try to make up games by drawing them on a notebook when they were a kid? I remember seeing my brother do that when he was like in 6th grade, he tried drawing out a 2-d sidescroller action game with robots and stuff. He drew out the main character/player, all their available weapons and the stages and bosses/enemies, heh. It was pretty cool actually from what I remember, coming from a 5th/6th grader.

I also would start doing that too with my own "games." I'd draw out random screens of a rpg or try to come up with a roster for a 2-d fighting game and then try to draw all of the characters' special moves, lol. I never really finished any of them though.

[evilakito]

I've always wanted an Age-of-Empires-style RTS that took place in an office building. I haven't worked out all of the details, but I figured that you could build cubicles to raise your supply limit (functioning sort of like houses in AoE) and coffee can be one of your resources, which you can raise by installing more coffee machines (sort of like how farms produce food in AoE).

[wyrdwad]

I don't know if they were god-awful, although they probably were since I was so young, but did anyone else try to make up games by drawing them on a notebook when they were a kid? I remember seeing my brother do that when he was like in 6th grade, he tried drawing out a 2-d sidescroller action game with robots and stuff. He drew out the main character/player, all their available weapons and the stages and bosses/enemies, heh. It was pretty cool actually from what I remember, coming from a 5th/6th grader.

I did this as well, and even went as far as to mail some of my designs to Nintendo at one point! Of course, all I got in response was a form letter telling me they weren't allowed to accept solicitations... but still, as a kid, I was like, YAAAAAY, Nintendo talked to me!

I've always wanted an Age-of-Empires-style RTS that took place in an office building. I haven't worked out all of the details, but I figured that you could build cubicles to raise your supply limit (functioning sort of like houses in AoE) and coffee can be one of your resources, which you can raise by installing more coffee machines (sort of like how farms produce food in AoE).

See, and I think this sounds like an *awesome* idea. Nothing godawful about it at all! (:

-Tom