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Post by Ike on Jan 20, 2010 23:56:42 GMT -5
Gabe Newell is reading this thread and scoffing at us right now.
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Post by Reiji-kun on Jan 20, 2010 23:56:53 GMT -5
No one can eat more than Gabe Newell. To prove his point, he ate Garfield, Kirby, and Yuyuko Saigyoji... all at the same time.
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Post by Ike on Jan 20, 2010 23:58:57 GMT -5
Gabe Newell once participated in an eating contest but ultimately ended up losing because he refused to eat a Playstation 3. This is significant in that it is one of the few times he has refused food.
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Post by muteKi on Jan 20, 2010 23:59:15 GMT -5
Gabe Newell used to work for Microsoft and accounted for 85% of the company's growth during that time.
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Post by Ike on Jan 21, 2010 0:01:54 GMT -5
Measured in the aggregate weight of all employees.
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Post by Reiji-kun on Jan 21, 2010 0:02:36 GMT -5
Rufus of Street Fighter IV was originally going to be Gabe Newell, but Capcom changed it at the last minute for fear Newell might eat them.
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Post by Snarboo on Jan 21, 2010 0:59:30 GMT -5
"Valve Time" can actually be explained by Einstein's theory of General Relativity: Valve actually completes every project on time, but Gabe Newell's immense gravitational field causes time at Valve to move more slowly relative to the rest of the world.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2010 1:35:11 GMT -5
We're all inside of Gabe Newell RIGHT NOW.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2010 1:52:02 GMT -5
If the entire world were to turn cannibal, Gabe Newell would end world hunger twenty times over.
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Post by Reiji-kun on Jan 21, 2010 2:18:12 GMT -5
Whenever Gabe Newell sits down, an earthquake occurs in another part of the world.
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Post by Weasel on Jan 21, 2010 3:01:05 GMT -5
The International Astronomical Union once debated whether or not Gabe Newell was considered a dwarf planet or an asteroid.
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Post by Mr. Faptastic on Jan 21, 2010 3:23:01 GMT -5
If the entire world were to turn cannibal, Gabe Newell would end world hunger twenty times over. That's actually not cannibalistic, as it is a little-known scientific fact that Gabe Newell is actually a previously-undiscovered species of gastropod. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2010 10:08:59 GMT -5
If the entire world were to turn cannibal, Gabe Newell would end world hunger twenty times over. Watching Gabe Newell eat made Sinistar say "DAMN..."  BTW, if someone could pl0x do a better version than I could do with 1 minute and GIMP (preferably add the "douche haircut"), you win 1,000,000 internets. |
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Post by Deleted on Jan 21, 2010 11:13:58 GMT -5
Porkins was actually just a mole on Gabe Newell's back that grew sentient and fell off of his body.
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Post by susanismyalias on Jan 21, 2010 12:45:14 GMT -5
The last time Gabe Newell masturbated he needed to hire a sherpa guide to find his penis. Actually he had to fund a mining expedition. |
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